Tag: tools

Forgiving yourself

When someone finds out I’m a Christian, they almost always say, “I’m not — but I’m a good person!” Good for you, I think, because I know I’m not. My innate tendency is to react to everything with anger, and if people are burned in the conflagration, to blame them. (Those of you familiar with the Enneagram are by now nodding your heads and saying, I knew she was a One!) It has been and continues to be my life’s work to notice each surge of rage, identify the trigger, then breathe out slowly and deeply and let it go in peace. Continue reading “Forgiving yourself” →

Forgiveness in situations of estrangement

As we continue our series on forgiveness, it is time to consider situations of estrangement. As always, I am drawing heavily from Carol Luebering’s little book, The Forgiving Family (now out of print). Of course, none of the approaches guarantee that a relationship will be restored. What they will do is help you bring a troubled relationship before God‘s loving presence. This may lead to reconciliation, or it may simply lead to your own healing and sense of freedom from a toxic situation. Continue reading “Forgiveness in situations of estrangement” →

Forgiveness as a household practice

Last week, I suggested some practical actions to help move towards forgiveness. This week, I’ll focus on forgiveness as a household practice, drawing heavily from a little book by Carol Luebering, The Forgiving Family (now sadly out of print). Luebering observes that it is in the family that most of us first learn to love, but that love must be cultivated and practised. One of the disciplines which cultivates love is, of course, forgiveness. What follows are four suggestions for forgiveness within a household; of course, most of them are helpful in other relationships, too. Continue reading “Forgiveness as a household practice” →

Five approaches to forgiveness

Last week, I made some observations on forgiveness. This week, I’ll outline five practical steps. But first, let’s remember a couple of things. First, Jesus wouldn’t have talked so much about forgiveness if everyone had nailed it. None of us are giants here, but all of us have ideas or methods which help us move towards forgiveness, and which might be helpful to others. So if you have any suggestions, let me know: What has helped you forgive? Perhaps your suggestions will make it into a subsequent email. Now, for the first five ideas! Continue reading “Five approaches to forgiveness” →

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