Some days are better than others: but this was not one of them. I woke up with my heart pounding, intensely aware of my anxiety. I felt it, named it, and prayed about it, then swung my legs out of bed and began my morning routine. Anxiously, I drank some water; anxiously, I did a workout; anxiously, I had a long hot shower … and still my heart pounded with fear. Muttering to myself that it would be a stupid waste of time while I was in this state, nevertheless I sat down to my daily practice: slow reading Scripture then sitting in silence, imagining myself in the Scripture and looking always towards God. Continue reading “Mark | Slow reading | Out of my mind with fear”
John | Holy Spirit: Defence lawyer, healer, friend
A testimony to the work of the Holy Spirit in my own life, and a promise to all who have been judged and found wanting. (Listen.)
I grew up in a hypercritical atmosphere. I know my mother loved me deeply; nevertheless, I was told every day that nothing I did was good enough. I’d wipe the kitchen bench, and be screamed at for holding the sponge carelessly or for knocking a few crumbs on the floor. I’d sweep, and she’d shout that I was doing it all wrong; when I changed how I held the broom, things only got worse. Once, I dropped a drinking glass; amid sobs and shrieks I was accused of destroying something precious and irreplaceable. Of course, I became a timid, anxious, furtive kind of child; and a cripplingly self-conscious adolescent who was so defensive and so filled with rage that there were times when I could barely breathe. Continue reading “John | Holy Spirit: Defence lawyer, healer, friend”
Drawing close … from a distance
Imagine being a hospital chaplain who cannot enter the room of a dying patient. This is the reality of coronavirus. Public health demands that patients die alone, yet patients still need people to journey with them, and to offer words of hope and comfort both to themselves and to their loved ones. Continue reading “Drawing close … from a distance”
John | Even scars become gift in God’s hands
The children of the COVID-19 lockdown will bear scars of this time for the rest of their lives; yet even scars become gift in God’s hands. (Listen.)
This week I read an article which said that the children of the COVID-19 lockdown will bear scars of this time for the rest of their lives. I watch my own children’s social lives shrinking or moving entirely online; I watch them trying to study without the support of being in a classroom with teacher and peers; I watch my youngest dash off her learning tasks, then fall down the rabbit hole of the internet while her older sisters and parents all work. Continue reading “John | Even scars become gift in God’s hands”
Luke | Standing tall
And just then there appeared a woman with a spirit that had crippled her for eighteen years. She was bent over and was quite unable to stand up straight. (Luke 13:11)
When I was in the seventh grade, we did drama at school. One day, each of us had to walk like somebody else. One girl walked slowly across the room. Her hands were folded in front of her. Her back was curved over, her shoulders were hunched, and she stared at the ground as she walked. It was the saddest thing I’d ever seen. I said something to the kids next to me about how awful it was, and wondered aloud who walked like that. The kids laughed. “Are you joking?” they said, “Don’t you know? Anyone can see that it’s you.” Continue reading “Luke | Standing tall”
John | Born again into self-giving love
Jesus is not asking us to intellectually agree with a set of propositions, but to entrust our hearts to him in love. (Listen.)
Many years ago, I left home and went away to university. I came from a background where people talk about faith and science and politics and everything else, and perpetually wonder and ask questions. At university, I expected the same. I hooked up with the first Christian group which presented itself, but soon felt totally bewildered. I found myself in conversations I never wanted to have, in which the acceptability of women in leadership, the theory of evolution, questions of sexuality and gender, and many other issues were put under the microscope, and my position was always shown to be wrong. Continue reading “John | Born again into self-giving love”
Mark | What do you want me to do for you?
Jesus said to him, “What do you want me to do for you?” (Mark 10:51)
For many years, I was exhausted. I felt like I was always wading through molasses; I could never get through a day without a long nap. I had twinges in my joints whenever I moved; I was putting on weight; I caught every bug going around. I mentioned this to several GPs, who all patted me on the head and told me it’s grief / you have young children / it’ll go away. Continue reading “Mark | What do you want me to do for you?”
Healing: Being reconciled with all creation
As Western consumer capitalists, it is difficult for us to feel intimately connected with each other, let alone the wider creation. Ancient schools of philosophy have taught us to think of ourselves as separate beings distinct from the created order; and dominant agricultural and economic models distance us from the rest of the natural world. Thus our industries tend towards extracting, reducing and damaging, rather than sustaining and improving, the atmosphere, the biosphere and the hydrosphere. Continue reading “Healing: Being reconciled with all creation”
On healing
It is impossible to read the gospel accounts without being struck by the number of healing stories. Everywhere he goes, Jesus heals; and healing is central to his self-professed ministry. “Tell John,” he says, “that the blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is preached to the poor.” (Matthew 1:4-5). Later, Jesus commissions his disciples to engage in this same ministry—but what is it? Continue reading “On healing”
Healing and community
Last week, we looked at how healing is about wholeness, that is, including, accepting and connecting all parts of ourselves. However, healing is even bigger than this. It is also about wholeness in a wider sense, bringing people into healthy relationship with other people and with the wider creation. We’ll look at creation next week; this week, we’ll focus on communities. Continue reading “Healing and community”